Stop Toxic Energy Patterns

Stop toxic energy patterns in your life and start building healthy ones. In our current expansion in consciousness, you may be ready to make those leaps to the 5th dimensional realms, but your relationships may not. We all are becoming armchair therapist quick to diagnose someone else’s patterns of behavior as narcissistic, sociopathic, or gaslighting. But what is really going on in the energy field of the relationship you are in? We are currently in a big leap of awakening and those relationship trees are being shaken at their roots. Don’t be so quick to kick the other person to the curb until the dust settles on your own relationship growth. Why? Because thousands of people have asked me to look at their relationship patterns that are at the breaking point and a “flip of the energy coin” can reveal a completely different story. Read Psychology Today’s article on Toxic Relationships.

What is a toxic energy relationship? Stop toxic energy patterns is not as easy as it sounds. Toxic means acting as or having the effect of a poison, unpleasant, harmful, or malicious. Therefore, when you are in a toxic relationship that means the other persons energy field can cause you to feel sick, harmed by their words, actions or constantly feel a malicious intent to see you fail. But this is the thing…when looking at the energetics of relationship patterns those malicious behaviors can not hide. Your friend, family member, partner or spouse, may tell you that they support you 100% but the energetics can look completely different. As we grow in consciousness those relationship patterns are going to rise to the surface and reveal themselves. To include your own patterns of behaving, so the more you can start to examine your behaviors the sooner you will begin healing ALL of your relationships.

Where do those unhealthy toxic patterns come from? ALL unhealthy toxic relationship patterns come from patterns witnessed and experienced from your parents. Even if you make a promise to yourself that you are NOT going to be anything like your parents, often those same exact patterns reveal themselves in your own life. Your parental relationship patterns were learned from their parents and their parents and so on, all the way down those ancestral lines. Have you ever heard the term generational traumas or generational patterns? This is exactly what I am talking about.

When I first began to help clients get to the core of their behavior patterns, I did not know that the core often was found in their relationship with their mother or their father. It was only after seeing this same parental ripple affect thousands of times did, I begin to understand the energetic nature of behaviors. A client came to see me, distraught over a sudden abandonment break up. Examining the energy field, saw a clear energetic connection to their mother. Not possible they said, because my mother died when I was young. So your mother in a sense, abandoned you? That is when the client began to connect the dots. Over time, we worked on their relationship with their mother. When the individual came back into their life….they found their was no longer a connection. That person had helped my client get to a core healing that was needed with their mother.

You must begin to be accountable in your relationships to your own behaviors for anything to change. Take for example the client I just wrote about. The client was lightly possessive, clingy, controlling, and fearful of losing their partner. We can almost consider the behavior as a toxic one, right? Yet, my client had lost their mother at a very young age and was projecting that deep abandoning loss onto their partner. After 15 years together, the partner could no longer fill that toxic need and simply left. Now let’s flip that scenario! Do you expect your partner, siblings, work mates to behave in ways so that your own family patterns do not get triggered? After working with clients for 28 years, I can almost bet my bank account that you do, because I have witnessed the energetics far too many times.

Why are we drawn to toxic malicious individuals who have destructive energy patterns and behaviors? Well let’s go back again to that example I gave. Both individuals in a relationship have on some level agreed to come together to help each other heal old, wounded patterns. In the example, my client took the steps to heal themselves. They found a therapist to help them navigate the loss of their mother at a young age and came to me every few months so that I could help them dismantle their patterns. When their partner wanted to come back, they negotiated with the partner going to therapy with them and potentially finding an energy worker to help them heal the energetic patterns passed down through generations. The partner refused, seeing themselves as NOT the problem. When it comes to relationships, both contribute to the behavior patterns …in the beginning. Ultimately, you both will grow and change and hopefully you both can be okay and supportive of those changes. That is the only way the relationship can move forward. If one of you in the relationship does not want the relationship to grow and change that is when it can get messy.

What are the energy signs that you are in a toxic relationship?
1. Experiencing low vibes – Your relationship brings out the worst in each other. You are getting triggered and need to take a look at what and why?

2. Poor communication – that is vicious, malicious, and hurtful. Dark black energy cords can penetrate your 5th chakra, causing your neck, throat, and teeth to hurt when you are around them. Or you can send hurtful cords to their 5th chakra which is all about communication.

3. Non Supportive – the energy field of the other person can enter your grounding and block you from being grounded and or block your connection to God, so that you will only rely on them for all your guidance and advice needs.

4. Controlling, envy, jealousy patterns – the person wraps you in energetic ropes tightening them to keep you close. Can become threatening when you wish to leave anyway. They want you all to themselves.

5. Resentment, grudges, blaming behaviors – This energy pattern looks almost cannon like, firing large balls of energy towards you, projecting their hurt and pain onto you as if you are the source of the problem. The crazy thing about this pattern is no matter how much you try to conform, the other person always find something else to blame you for.

6. Your relationship partner does not care for themselves. This pattern happens when they relied on you to uplift and inspire them. When you begin to tire of being their motivating force, they struggle to motivate themselves. Then you become resentful when they do not inspire themselves.

7. Walking on Eggshells – The relationship is triggered all over the place with old painful memories and want you to behave in specific ways so that they do not get triggered. You will never be able to conform enough for their triggers to remain calm. Only they can heal their own triggers.

8. Hoping the other person will change – Often we wish the other person will change so you no longer feel what you are feeling. The more you heal your own patterns, the more appealing your relationship can become.

9. Your relationships want you to believe how they believe. Each of us is unique in our belief systems. We must be okay with each being unique. Problems arise when we are critical of others who believe differently.

10. Addiction issues – in the relationship. Energetically when there are drugs, alcohol, gambling, sex, or food addictions …it truly is impossible to work on the relationship until the addiction is dealt with. Energetically, you are in a relationship with the addiction, not the person. Or they with you.

Toxic Relationships are NOT DOOMED. We all hit rough patches in our relationships, no one is perfect. My parents have been married for 51 years and say the success of a long term relationship is making a commitment to each other through thick and thin. Also remembering they are each others person and have each others back. However, their relationship is not an abusive one either. When you have turned the wheel of the ship’s Rutter of your life, it can take a while for everyone in your relationships to catch up with your changes. As well as others in your life may make big changes and it might take some time for you to integrate those new aspects of them. When I am asked to take a look at a relationship I will look at each individual as a light. When bringing the two lights together does one light dim down into a lower frequency? This tells me that they are bright when not around you but when around you old energy can come up and get triggered. You are in a healthy relationship when each of you has a desire to grow and change spiritually even if it is at different paces. Read my blog post on Why can’t I find true love?

The best way to start turning toxicity into healthy is to take charge of your own personal behavior patterns and make yourself accountable for those times when you may be expressing old toxic defense mechanisms when you become triggered. Then you will begin to see your relationships evolve into a healthy balance or clarity that you have outgrown the relationship. This is an enormous time of change for the next several months and our relationships just might take the brunt of it. Keep doing your work and you will ultimately reap all the rewards!